I would just love to go like crazy and sell this it works! stuff but the problem is I lost it the other day. I put my lying 5 year old out of the car and drove a way. I have to work on my home life and myself before I can get this Network Marketing job up and running. We are all signed up for counseling. My son's father's wife Dawn asked her mom what we could do about our disobedient little boy and she said. "You aren't punishing him are you? Make sure you give him logical consequences not punishments."
"What in the world does that mean?"
That conversation lead us to believe that we have been going about this parenting thing all wrong. We have been punishing when we should have been giving logical consequences. We have punished a little boy into hating himself. For example
“Bryan you need to clean your room.”
“No, I don’t want to”
“Okay Bryan you need to go to timeout for not cleaning your room and not listening.”
“No, I don’t want to.”
“Okay now you are getting a spanking for not listening.” By this time there is holy screaming in our house, and Bryan now has begun hitting himself and saying "I hate myself and I am never going to play with toys again."What we were doing was punishing and it was not working. Rather than thinking about cleaning his room the only thing on his mind was that he is getting spanked. He was learning to hate himself. Instead what we should do is...
“Bryan clean up your room and then we can play candy land.” or insert something else like eat dinner, go to Aunty Krista’s, take a walk, or do whatever it is that you need to do.
“Okay!” Bry excitedly starts cleaning his room and subconsciously he learns that he should clean up the toys in his room before he moves onto another activity. The punishment then for messing up his room is cleaning his room, not going to timeout and getting a spanking. Those have nothing to do with the task at hand at it confuses little minds.
Anyways. I have read every article on punishment vs logical consequence and I think you should do the same if you have a troubled little person. Here are some great links. http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/article/punishment-vs-logical-consequences
http://www.childcarehelp.org/families/tip-consequences.pdfhttp://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/cm/Chapter10Consequences.htm
http://www.broward.k12.fl.us/studentsupport/psychologicalservices/pdf/Natural_LogicalConsequences.pdf
The first step I am going to take to put this household back together is outlaw punishment at our house. Secondly I am going to enact this rule chart. Pretty cute huh? My husbands told me to use comic sans and when I did he said. “HaHa, can’t believe you used comic sans. Well I guess it goes with your clipart.” What in the world is that supposed to mean? I like it anyways and I am sure the 5 year old will too. This chart is getting printed out and posted today!
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